So, the past several months, several different people and couples have come up to either myself, Robyn, or both of us together telling us that we look like we have a great marriage and that we make a great couple. Well, we do. So there. But it's not a secret why. For some reason, this past weekend seemed to be about what it takes to have a strong marriage, I will see if I can explain ours below.
So before I start, are we perfect? By no means. Do we have our moments? Of course we do. What couple doesn't? Even the best ones do. But the difference is that we hate those moments and try to resolve them as soon and as best we can. What a waste of time to drag those moments out. People sleeping on couches, not spending time together, purposely coming home late from work when you can get home sooner. That just sucks for them and I almost laugh at people like that. What a way to live. Some people love drama and misery. You can have it. And if there are kids involved and that's the house they live in, way to think about the kids first. We won't live like that. Life's too short and we want to have a strong marriage. Did you get that? It's what we BOTH want. If both don't want that, one or the other, whew, that's a problem, a huge problem.
So what's our secret? You know why we are as happy as we are? It's really not a secret. It's because we want to be as happy as we are. Make sense? It's that easy. Robyn and I invest in our marriage. There's a thought. We make emotional deposits in our marriage constantly. We do bible studies together (the 5 love languages is a great one), we go to church together, we make time for each other, pretty much make Saturday evening family date night, talk real conversation to each other every single night once EJ is down. But that's just it, right? We study, read, learn, watch, pay attention, talk, communicate, whatever it takes for us to have an awesome marriage. We make an effort. We just don't get in ruts and routines, or at least try not to. We strive for, and both want an awesome marriage.
Investments. Emotional deposits. Just a drive to have a successful marriage and family. What's the return? Just look at us. A marriage and love we can't get enough of and a little girl that loves spending time with both of us.
Sound corny? Maybe it is. But the funny thing about it is, as corny as it sounds, I know several couples that do the same. I won't say names, but I know one couple that actually went to marriage counseling BEFORE they were even engaged. 17 sessions. Wow. That's awesome. That's what it's all about. They are an awesome couple that has a crazy strong marriage. They invested early and they just know now how to get it right. I just look up and admire people like that. I want us to have that same drive. Our couples in our small group are all doing a marriage bible study. We all have great marriages and we all want to take time to keep it that way. We all want to know what it takes, what do we do wrong, what can we do better, etc.
So if you want to know what we do to make it work, we want to make it work. We both make an effort. We respect each other, love each other, and just spend time and do everything together. Make sense? It's easy, if you want it. If not, it's obvious. We got a chance to spend time with some couples all weekend who have strong marriages. It's pretty amazing when I can look at all us to see that we all just have that in common, just the will to make it work and enjoy every second of the effort.